The Fixations of Justin Finch-Fletchley
by Greenealogist
Summary: Justin never thought he'd find himself drawn to Theodore Nott, but there was something about the withdrawn Slytherin that intrigued him, he supposed...eventual Justin/Theo slash.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: *gulp* My first foray into the world of Harry Potter fanfiction writing. Little to say, other than please read and review. Oh, and I'm not JKR and therefore don't own any of the characters, obviously. If I were, I wouldn't be publishing *fan*fiction now would I? WARNING: This story will eventually contain slash (Male/Male relationships). You have been warned!  
**

Justin Finch-Fletchley thought himself unworthily lucky. Nature had lavished gifts upon him: by an accident of birth he was wealthy, very wealthy; by dint of his parents he had never wanted for anything; by virtue of his education he was bright and a reasonably talented wizard; and by the mercy of his genes he had grown to be a fairly handsome young fellow. And lately, a further gift had been bestowed upon him: Theo.

It was, he reckoned, an unlikely relationship. Himself: a bright, hard-working, personable, Muggle-born Hufflepuff; and Theodore Nott: a lonesome, pure-blood Slytherin with an expression that suggested he was better than everyone else in the room and knew it too. Oh yes, an unlikely relationship indeed.

They had met in Ancient Runes, at the beginning of the Third Year. A tiny class that cohort: Hermione Granger, Anthony Goldstein and themselves. It made for a very personal class, especially with the more-than-mildly-eccentric Professor Babbling, who held regular soirées which they usually attended, now as a couple.

The first class, and Justin had arrived slightly late, as Susan had kept him talking in the library, to find Hermione and Anthony sat together. There was only one place left, and it was next to Nott.

"May I?" He asked, gesturing to the seat.

"Free country" came Theo's cold response, as he turned away to look at his book. Slightly taken aback by the abrupt answer, Justin sat.

"I'm Justin Finch–"

"-Fletchley, Hufflepuff, yes I know." Justin's mouth fell open slightly.

"Look, there's no need to be like that Theodore."

"Do not. Call me that," a flash of anger. The first emotion that Theo had shown.

"What then?"

"We don't have to talk, and I'm not particularly inclined to do so. But if you absolutely must, Nott will suffice."

"Why Nott? Why not Theodore? Or Theo? Theo's nice."

"Look, Finch-Fletchley, I'd rather we didn't speak at all. Or did you not pick up on that?"

"Fine."

"Fine."

And from that point on, Justin was captivated by him.

It wasn't love, no, not at first, it was a desire to get this phantasmal Slytherin to open up. It was laborious. Oh so much. By the end of the third year, Justin had discovered precisely one thing, and that was that Theo had a sort of deep-seated loathing of his father. He hated him so deeply and irretrievably that Justin wondered what wrong could possibly have occurred to cause it. Dark thoughts of abuse of all kinds ran through Justin's head as he watched the withdrawn Slytherin go about his business in the school. He wondered how terrible it could be conceivably be to result in this hostility toward everyone and everything.

But not even Theodore could hold out against Justin's persistent amicability forever. The first chink in his armour of silence came on the train home, at the end third year. Justin, Hannah, Susan, Wayne, Megan and Ernie were walking down the corridor when Justin saw Theo sat alone in a compartment, staring fixedly at a wall. Justin ducked into the compartment, telling his friends to go on without him.

Theo didn't react to the noise of the door sliding shut. He didn't react to Justin sitting opposite him, or the quiet "Theo" Justin offered. They sat in silence for a minute.

"I hate him." Theo's voice was colder than ever.

"Pardon?" said Justin.

"I hate him," Theo repeated. "My father, I mean."

"Oh Theo I–" but some kind of floodgates had been breached, and Theo began talking.

"I don't want to go home. I never want to go home. Have you ever wondered why I stay at Christmas, and at Easter? Why I never write or receive letters? Why I don't ever mention my mother?"  
"Of course I–"

"He's there, Justin. He lives, a tyrant, lording over his domain and its pitiful denizens like some sort of…I suppose the Muggle phrase is feudal baron. He absolutely has to control everything, the old bastard."

"Does he…?" Justin cut himself off.

"Does he what?" Theo demanded, shaking in anger.

"Does he…you know?"

"Does he beat me?" Justin nodded. "Of course he doesn't, what kind of damned foolish question is that? He's a wizard, he doesn't have to, and even if he weren't there are more kinds of pain than just the physical."

"God Theo that's…God!" Justin didn't know what to say. Theo just sat there, collecting himself. Eventually he spoke up.

"Thank you, Justin"

"For what?"

"Listening. Caring. Looking past my name and house."

"Theo, I'm a Hufflepuff, it's what we do."

"Not for Slytherins. Can you imagine Macmillan or Abbot or Hopkins doing this for a Slytherin?"

"Well…"

"Exactly. And that's why I'm thanking you. For going beyond."

Justin was once again struck dumb. Eventually, he managed to splutter out "You're welcome. But Theo, if it's so bad for you why do you go back?"

"Where else can I go? What little family I have would send me straight back, I can't live rough, I can't stay at Hogwarts, I have no friends upon whose mercy I can throw myself. I'm stuck with it and I'll survive. I have thus far, haven't I?"

"Theo…this will destroy you."

"He can't do anything worse to me than he already has. Nothing!"

"Why, what has he done?"

"I…I'm sorry, I can't tell you, I just can't."

"Oh Theo…" silence once again reigned. They sat like that for some time, until Theodore once again spoke.

"Go on."

"What?"  
"Go on, join your friends. You don't want to sit here in silence whilst I act like Moaning Myrtle, do you? So go and see Bones and Abbot and Jones and all the rest of them."

"Theo, are you sure? Only I really don't mind."

"Just go. Please?"

Justin rose reluctantly. At the door he turned back, as if searching for something to say. But he couldn't find it, so he left. The door slammed behind. And until he was halfway back to his friends' compartment, he didn't notice that it was the first time that Theo had called him Justin.

He disembarked from the train, and for the first time took a proper look at Theo's collector. He was a very elderly-looking man, almost bald with only the thinnest strands of white hair and a very hooked nose. He looked somewhat like a vulture. There was no way that this was Nott Sr. And yet evidently it was. Even as Justin left the station with his parents, he glanced over his shoulder a couple of times to see Theo looking morose and his father looking…well…a little like Theo's emotionless visage could at times. It was at this point that Justin knew that, whatever he may do over the summer, the prevailing image for him would be the lonely, miserable boy and his emotionless, vulture-like father walking as far apart as decency allowed.


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter II_

_**A/N: Thanks to my two kind reviewers, Elandil and dreamingofthingsthaneverwere . Go read their works, they're good. Once again, I am not J.K. Rowling, own no rights to her characters, etc. Lady Clarissa and her husband are mine though.  
**_

The next time Justin saw Theo was on September 1st, at King's Cross, on the platform. He had just ushered through his parents when he spotted Theo standing alone, surveying the throng icily. Lady Clarissa Finch-Fletchley nudged her son.

"Justin, who's that that chap over there? With the green tie and all alone?"

"That's Theodore Nott, mum, he's in my Ancient Runes class. I'm sure I mentioned him."

"Why is he alone?"

"I don't think he has the best of relationships with his father."

"And his mother?"

"I have no idea."

"Hmm…"

At this point the whistle blew and there was a last minute crush for the train's doors. Justin piled on with the rest, then turned and leant out from the door window, waving furiously towards his parents. Having just seen Theo alone he felt that he valued them more than usual. His parents waved back.

"Goodbye, darling," cried Clarissa, but her voice was caught in the cacophony of others and not head by Justin, who had anyway withdrawn from the window and was at that very moment making his way down the train.

He had had every intention of tracking down his Hufflepuff friends, but whilst on his search he had chanced across Theo sat alone in a compartment. Before he know what he was doing he had ducked inside.

"Hallo, Theo," he said, seating himself.

"Justin," accompanied with a curt nod, this was all Theo gave in the way of a greeting.

"Why didn't you answer my letters?" Justin was incapable of preventing a slight note of accusation from entering his voice.

"Oh honestly Justin, don't sound quite so petulant. And it was a matter of not being able of answering your letters, anyway."

"Why not?"

"Because I didn't receive the blasted things. My father's wards intercepted your owl."

"Ah. How were…things?" Theo said nothing, merely looked ahead in a steely fashion. "That bad, huh?"

Theo shook his head. "Worse."

"Damn, Theo, I'm sorry."

"Sorry? What do you have to be sorry about? You're not him."

"No, I mean, I'm sorry for you, to find yourself in this position. I can't imagine how dreadful it must be."

"Yeah, well, nobody's life is perfect."

"Theo, I think there's a difference between most people's issues and…well…what I imagine your father puts you through."

"Whatever, Justin, I really don't want to talk about, alright?"

"Fine, Theo." Silence, for a couple of minutes, before Justin managed to break it.

"So, how did you find Flitwick's essays?"

And lo the conversation began, meandering mundanely through nothings whilst the train did the same towards Hogsmeade. They got caught up in their conversation and barely noticed as it got dark and the lamps came on or indeed anything else until they suddenly realised that they had only around fifteen minutes before they would arrive at school. Then came the sudden flurry of changing, undressing and re-dressing in the short time they had. As the train came to a halt, Justin had only just finished wriggling into his over-robes. Theo, who had been wearing only robes since his earliest childhood and was highly practiced at changing them, watched with a sort of exasperated fondness, hidden deep beneath his more-or-less neutral external appearance.

"Are you finally done?" he asked, almost sounding amused. Justin nodded.

"Don't understand why we have to wear the bloody things. Drive me up the wall. And they're so impractical," he said, flapping his hands irately whilst gathering together what small amounts of hand luggage he considered essential.

"You only say that because you weren't raised wearing them. I should probably say the same thing about morning suits and top hats."

"How on earth do you know about those?"

"I do take Muggles Studies, Justin, I'm not a completely ignorant prat."

"Theo, you are neither ignorant nor a prat."

"And you aren't entirely irritating."

"Theo, that was nearly a compliment…I'm flattered."

By this point, they found themselves descending from the train, into the cold rain and Hagrid's booms of "Firs' years this way please." They found themselves by the carriages, looking awkwardly at one another.

"I hate these things," said Theo finally, shuddering.

"Why? They're perfectly nice carriages."

"No, not the carriages. The things that pull them."

"But…but Theo there's nothing there."

"There are. Thestrals."

"Then why can't I see them."

"Very simple, really, Justin, you have to–"

"Oy, Nott, what are you doing with the Mudblood? Come on, there's room for one more in the carriage." Theo swung round to say Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle congregating around the next carriage down.

"Come on Nott," continued Draco. "Don't know why you let him trail after you anyway. I saw him on the train. Come on!"

"Go on Theo," Justin cast his eyes away from Malfoy and his minions.

"Are you sure, Justin?"

"Of course, just go. Besides, I think I spy Hannah and Ernie."

"Well, alright." Theo left and joined the other three Slytherins, but as he boarded the carriage wherein they sat he glanced back almost desperately over his shoulder, to see Justin still stood there, as his Hufflepuff friends ended up gathering in his vicinity. Sighing he entered, sat down, and slammed the door behind him.

"So, Justin," began Susan, as they settled into their carriage. "We didn't see you on the train, did we, Ernie, Hannah." They shook their heads expectantly.

"No, no I don't suppose you would've done."

"So, where were you?"

"I was talking with Theo."

"Theo? As in Theodore _Nott_," the surprise in Ernie's voice. "But he's..."

"He's what, Ernie?"

"Well, you know…"

"The word Ernie is groping for, Justin, is _dark_. Or possible even _Slytherin_," Hannah chipped in.

"But he isn't dark, not at all!"

"But he's Slytherin, they're all dark!" said Ernie.

"Ernie, I'm surprised at you!" the shock in Susan's voice was palpable. "Auntie Amelia was a Slytherin. Are you calling her dark?"

"Well, no, but…"

"Anyway, Justin, I personally think that it's marvellous that you're spending some time with people from other houses. We are Hufflepuffs, we are meant to be friendly towards everyone and the rest of us, Ernie, don't do nearly as much as we should."

"Well, thank you, Hannah." Hannah looked nearly smug, and Ernie looked suitably abashed. Susan, however, was looking intently at Justin. There was something going on there that transcended friendship, she decided, even if neither of them realised it yet which, knowing how dense Justin was about these things sometimes, was more than likely. But the conversation had moved on, and she made an effort to keep up with what it now was: Ernie and Hannah educating Justin on the summer's Quidditch. Thrilling.

"So, Nott, what were you doing with that Mudblood on the train?" Malfoy reclined lazily in his seat and surveyed those with whom he was travelling. Theo did not respond. "Come on Nott, don't be shy, tell us." Crabbe and Goyle nodded vigorously in unison, almost as if on cue. They were quite spooky really, thought not, as he kept his mouth firmly shut. "Fine, just ignore us then. Be a dick, Nott." And the conversation moved on to speak about the upcoming Triwizard Tournament.

Theo did not care about the tournament. Nor did Theo care about Malfoy's opinion of him, or indeed the opinions of anyone at that school. Except, he realised, for Justin. There was something about Justin, he supposed. Unlike most everyone, he hadn't immediately looked down on Nott because of his name and house or, like most of his house, assumed he was some sort of crazy racist and then abandoned him when it transpired that, of course, he wasn't. And all his life Theo had been looked down upon for one reason or another. So it made a nice change.


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter III_

**A/N: Definitely not J K Rowling, and never will be, I'm neither an identity thief nor a shapeshifter. Also: Blaise Zabini! Yay!  
**

Theo lay on his bed early that night, sick and tired already of the arrogance that filled the common room like an acrid smoke. _There was something about Justin_, he had thought earlier. Yes, there was. What, though, was this something? Theo had never had friends before, so he didn't know whether this was just how one felt about one's friends, but somehow he supposed not. The intensity of feeling was not something he would have imagined one felt normally. And it was intense, more intense than anything that he had felt before in his life, except, possibly, the hatred, the sheer, utter hatred, he felt towards his father. Although, he reasoned, _that_ hatred could outweigh any other feelings he could ever have.

Yes, there was something about Justin. It wasn't just that Theo got on with him; had he so desired, he would have been perfectly capable of getting on with anyone. No, it was more that Theo wanted to get on with him. He found himself caring about what Justin thought, seeking his approval, trying to impress him. Normally Theo had a cavalier attitude towards others opinions, hence his status as an outsider, and so now he found himself wanting a positive attitude albeit only from one person and he had no idea what he should do about it. For the first time, he found himself regretting his cold slights and rebuffs towards those who had tried to befriend him, as he now had nobody to turn when he needed it.

The door to the dormitory opened. In a way, Theo supposed he was lucky, as he had to share the room with only Blaise Zabini, as at the start of the third year Lucius Malfoy had paid enough that his son got one of the old private rooms opened up for him. Crabbe and Goyle slept in smaller beds in there; as Draco's minions, it was all that Malfoy Sr. was willing to stretch to in order to keep them in his son's vicinity. Zabini was, in Theo's opinion, one of the only palatable Slytherins in his year, along with Daphne Greengrass, who was sweet-natured deep underneath the ice queen exterior. Zabini, like Theo, had never cared hugely about popularity with Malfoy, however, unlike Theo, there was a shared overlap of views with the racists that meant Zabini had the best of both worlds. Combined with his ability to charm if required or desired Zabini had it made.

"Nott," said Zabini, nodding curtly.

"Zabini." Theo replied in kind.

"Good holiday?"

"Oh, the usual, Zabini, the usual. Yours?"

"Mother's on her fifth husband now, so not much change to normal." Ah yes, the much-married Mrs. Marchbanks, as she had now become. Theo allowed himself to become even more taciturn than he normally was with Zabini, whilst Blaise elucidated upon the subject of the various ailments that the elderly, rich Mr. Marchbanks had suddenly been struck down with upon his summer marriage and the writing of a new will. Whilst Zabini continued to speak, Theo's thoughts drifted back to Justin.

There he was again! Why did he find it so hard to think of anything else? Perhaps he was just being stupid, after all, Justin _was _his first actual friend, so perhaps it was more normal than he thought to dwell on them? But then, from his books, for he read avidly, and from his overhearings of various conversations, these feelings were not expected. What was wrong with him?

"Nott? Nott!" Theo suddenly became aware that Zabini had stopped talking about his latest step-father and was looking at him with quizzical eyes.

"I am sorry, Zabini. Do continue, this is riveting," his thoughts already moving off in their own direction.

"Nott, I know we not exactly friends, you know, we have some fairly fundamental differences of opinion that have rather precluded that, but, well, we are both Slytherins and I'm smart enough to know that Malfoy's lot's victory is by no means assured, and those of us retaining at least some vestige of sanity in this house really have to have a least a loose banding together against these fanatics so-"

"Zabini, for Merlin's sake say what you're trying to say please!"

"What's wrong, Nott?"

"What do you mean?"

"It's patently obvious that there's something a bit off with you. Not even the famously company-shy Theodore Nott would have considered abandoning the common room this early if there weren't something wrong. There's been changes in you, Nott, since the start of last year, and now you've gone off for summer and returned…well, like this. Preoccupied. What's worrying you, Nott?"

"With all due respect, Zabini, I don't exactly think that it's any of your business."

"Don't be like this, Nott. Nobody else need know about it if you don't wish them too. I wouldn't even tell Daphne if you didn't want me to."

"It is rather private."

"It's something to do with that Mudblood, sorry, Muggle-born, chap in Hufflepuff, isn't it?" Theo's head jerked upward to see an astute look on Zabini's face.

"How on earth did you know?"

"Lucky guess, you confirmed it. So, like I said, what's worrying you?"

"I'd be…embarrassed."

"Nott, trust me, it won't shock me and I won't judge you for it."

"I…Justin's my first true friend, and it's just, well, when you met Greengrass for the first time, and became friends, how did you feel?"

"How did I feel…well, I felt pleased to have a friend, but, you know, there wasn't anything exceptionally out of the ordinary, just a general slight happiness to have a genuine friend, you know? Why?"

"Oh, no, it doesn't matter."

"Nott…don't raise things like that and refuse to explain, or I shall be irritated."

"All right…if I don't just feel a little bit happy but rather feel ecstatic when I think of them, if I don't just feel like I have a genuine friend, but if my thoughts constantly drift onto this person, if I constantly feel as though I want to impress then, to make myself feel worthy in their eyes, to want to want to be with them almost all of the time, to want to seek them out…that's not just the first flush of friendship, is it?"

"Shit Nott…I'll be honest with you, if you want."

"Of course I want you to be honest, I wouldn't have told you if I wanted you to lie to me."

"Well, if I'm honest, Nott, no it doesn't sound like the first flush of friendship, it sounds like the first flush of infatuation with someone. What you've just described makes it sounds as though you are in love with this Finch-Fletchley fellow." Theo was struck dumb for a moment, but just a moment. No, he thought, no, there's no way, that he could be…no…no…no…

"Nott? Nott! Nott‽‽ Are you okay?"

"What? Oh, sorry, Zabini, I just didn't expect you to say that…um…no, no, I don't think so, though, but, um, yeah, thanks anyway. I guess I'm just weird. Aha." The laugh was fake, hollow, empty sounding and fooled neither of them for a second. Nott retreated back into himself, curling up like a tortoise re-entering its shell. Zabini eventually broke the awkward silence that was congealing the air.

"Nott, if you ever do need to talk to somebody, about anything, well, anything you can't tell the Hufflepuff, then you can speak to me…I quite like you in a way, Nott, so as I said, if at the very least you need somebody in your own house, I'll try and be there…not openly, of course, that would do neither of us any good, but as we have fortuitously ended up with our own dormitory, then this would be the ideal place to discuss, if, of course, you want to."

"Thank you, Zabini, but I think I would quite like to go to bed now."

"No problem, Nott."

But as he lay there in the silence, all he could think of was Justin, and he fell asleep to a restless night of troubled dreams.

**A/N: Join me again for Chapter IV, in which Justin makes mistakes; Susan makes a plan; Ernie makes amends; Draco makes trouble; and Hannah makes the tea**


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter IV_

__**A/N: Yeah, this is...short. But, well, I wanted to post something to keep the story going. Next time there'll be more I PROMISE...oh and I'm still not J. K. Rowling...not really interested in a gender change so I could be either.**

As Theo was speaking to Zabini, Draco sat inwardly fuming in the common room of Slytherin house. Although he was outwardly as superior as ever, he was quite furious at Nott's behaviour. Could he not see that this friendship with a Mudblood, a Hufflepuff Mudblood at that, was going to utterly ruin his life in Slytherin. Not only that, but it was dangerous for Draco himself. Theo was one of the few potential rivals in the house for leading the Slytherins and any alliances for him (for Draco never thought in terms of friends and enemies, only flexible allies and opponents) could threaten Draco's position. It was worrying, especially as Zabini, one of his more erstwhile allies, seemed to have gone after Nott very quickly, quicker than Draco considered acceptable.

He shook Pansy off him, bored already with the 'ironic' discussion about how exciting the Tournament was going to be, and left to clear his head for a while. As he headed for the Salazar Suite, he passed what was notionally the 4th year boy's dormitory, where he noticed the door was open a chink. Before he knew what was happening, his ear was pressed to the door.

"-you are in love with this Finch-Fletchley fellow," he heard Zabini say. His ears pricked up. Now this was useful. Nott's flustered denials were unimportant and he pulled himself away. How fortuitous, her thought. For Malfoy now had the seeds of a plan germinating. A plan that was all for Nott's sake, obviously, to warn him off the mudblood. The fact that it benefited Malfoy hugely had no effect at all it any way, shape or form. Definitely not.

A couple of hours later, the Hufflepuff common room was almost empty. In one of the many cosy nooks sat Justin and his closest friends. They had been chatting for hours now non-stop but the slight frosty silence between Ernie and Justin was something of an inhibitor. Eventually Ernie broke it quietly away from the other's conversation.

"Look, Justin, about what I said about Nott earlier. I'm…sorry. You have a right to be friends with whoever you want, even if they are a Slytherin. I just…felt should say that." Justin grinned in response.

"Don't worry about it, you bloody fool!" he responded jocularly. Ernie smiled back.

"Made up now, boys?" Hannah broke in to their conversation.

"Of course," said Justin.

"Great." At this point Ernie let out a massive yawn.

"Excuse me," he said, "but I am exhausted. I need to get to bed. G'night." The group responded similarly and Ernie left with a drowsy wave.

"Well," said Hannah. "I think a cup of tea and then bed too. Would either of you two like one?"

"Please," Justin and Susan said. Hannah bustled off towards the small, homely kitchen area in the far corner, leaving the other two behind.

"Actually, Justin, I'm glad she's gone for a minute. I wanted a quick word with you." Susan leaned forwards conspiratorially and Justin did likewise.

"Yes?" he asked, feeling slightly ridiculous.

"It's about Theo. Now, don't worry," she held up her hands to forestall an interjection. "I shan't do and Ernie and protest about. It's your life and you can do what you want with it. I only want to clarify something."

"What?" asked Justin warily.

"What do you actually feel for Theo?"

"Excuse me?"

"What do you actually feel for Theo?"

"H-how do you mean."

Susan sighed. Justin was truly bemused by her. "Look, do you love him?"

"Do I love him?! As a friend, yes I guess. But I suppose that's not what you mean."

"No, I mean romantically." And here Justin made his first mistake.

"No," he said. "Definitely not."

"Oh. So, you aren't gay then?"

"I don't believe that I am, Susan, alright." His second mistake.

Susan looked surprised. "Oh, sorry, I just…assumed that, well, you…um…were?"

"No, no, Susan. Why would you even think that?" He seemed genuinely perplexed.

"Just…well, I just assumed based on how you behaved and spoke and…things."

"Well you shouldn't make assumptions, or you're about as bad as Ernie."

"Look, I am sorry, okay?"

"Well, we'll say no more about it." They lapsed into an awkward silence broken only when dear, sweet Hannah returned with steaming cups of tea and the trio went to their own separate beds, Justin for an uneasy sleep.


End file.
